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Posting Guidelines for Discussion Forums
February 1st, 2007

While these are not “hard and fast” rules for posting, we have created this list as a general guide for appropriate posting behavior on this site. Choosing to disgregard these guidelines may result in your posts being moderated at the discretion of the site staff.

1. The administrator – admin@soulofadoption.com – and staff reserve the right to change the TOS as needed without prior notice or warning. However, if you look over old posts on our “FAQ Archives” and “Forum Administration & Announcements” forums, you will see that we generally discuss any changes of that kind with the membership.

2. Everything you post is your responsibility. The owners, administrators and moderators are not responsible for content you create. If you don’t want every word you write and every picture you post to be available all over the internet, don’t post it. Privacy on the internet is an illusion. Opinions expressed regarding agencies, attorneys or other adoption professionals are entirely the responsibility of the individuals who posts them. Soul of Adoption.com, its owner, administrators and moderators will not be held responsible for the opinions expressed by those who post here.

3. If you are under 18 or the individual you are seeking is under 18, resist the temptation to make a search post here. Adopted children are children - minors - until their 18th birthday. We recognize how frustrating this can be, but please abide by this guideline. We are unwilling to assume legal responsibility for your actions.

4. This site is supported by the hard work and financial contributions of its members. Donations are NOT a requirement for participation here. Some are able to contribute financially, some are not. We believe in financial transparency as it relates to the accounting of this site. If you have a question about our finances, ask. Currently, we are “ad free.” We hope to continue in this manner indefinitely. If you are an adoption agency, attorney or facilitator – don’t waste our time emailing us and offering money to place an ad for your company on this site. This site will shut down before it will be forced to endure those stupid “give us your baby” ads - we find them offensive.

If you offer “support services” to those touched by adoption such as travel packages for international adoptions, post-placement therapy for birth parents, search assistance to adoptees and birth parents, etc. contact the administrator directly –
admin@soulofadoption.com – for permission BEFORE promoting your company among our membership. We’re still not going to put up banner ads for you, but we will probably add a link to your website on our Links pages.

5. You are welcome to respectfully question decisions made by the moderating team about your membership or your posts. You are welcome to ask that the site administrator - admin@soulofadoption.com - review a moderation decision. However, the decisions of the site administrator are final.

Questioning the integrity or character of a moderator because you do not agree with their decisions may very likely result in the site administrator - admin@soulofadoption.com - banning your account permanently. She has very little patience for those who would personally attack the volunteers who devote an enormous amount of time and energy in support of this site.

6. If you are typing a response and thinking in the back of your mind how witty and subtle you are being with your sarcasm, it’s probably a wise idea to highlight everything you’ve just typed and push “Delete.” Resist the temptation to push “Post,” you know damn well you’re about to start a shitstorm. The admin is unlikely to buy the wide-eyed innocent look – she has used it far too many times herself.

7. When posting images of children, at least one of the following conditions must be met:
- The child pictured must be related to you through biology, adoption, marriage, legal guardianship and/or foster care. Pictures of your children, nieces, nephews, step-children, grandchildren, etc. are permissible.
- A “stock photo” image used by the press or in advertisements for products, etc. are acceptable. In these instances, you must provide a link to the source.

7a. The staff retains the right to delete images which they may determine are offensive, triggering, or otherwise inappropriate for this environment.

7b. SofA allows posting of referral pictures under the following conditions:
- It must be a referral you have already accepted. Please do not post referral pictures of children you are still considering.
- If your country, agency, facilitator or attorney has specific rules or laws about posting referral pictures, the responsibility rests on you alone to honor their rules/laws. SofA will not accept any fallout for your decision to violate the rules/laws regarding posting referral pictures. Moderators may delete a photo of a referral if they see it and know that the country, agency, facilitator or attorney disallows posting of photos, but they are not required to do so.


8. Do not leap into the flames. If you see an inappropriate post, REPORT IT AND IGNORE IT. Let a moderator know it’s there and one of us will deal with it as needed. Do not respond to it — the only effect that will have is that your post, too, no matter how erudite and well-thought-out, will vanish with it. If you’re ready to give up on seeking to understand, you might consider simply ignoring members whose voices you are unable to hear. Often the person making the provocative statement is just hoping to get a rise. You don’t have to take the bait.

9. Do not harass or threaten other members or staff. We will not tolerate outright or implied threats of any kind. Messages that harass, abuse, or threaten; have obscene or otherwise objectionable content; will be removed and may result in the loss of your Account.

10. Chat is part of the community and the rules posted for the site apply there as well.

11. Try to stay on topic. If you want to discuss a topic that is not related to the area in which you are participating, try going to another topic area or create a new one.

12. Requests to moderate a post via PM or a post on the thread will be ignored. If you wish to have action taken about a post, you are required to use the “Report to Moderator” tab.

13. It may become necassary for the Moderation Team to ask you to put another member on “ignore.” You will be required to follow through with this request. The Moderation Team will decide on a case by case basis the time frame for the ignore status. Failure to do so will result in you being placed on “Read Only” status for 15 days. Upon your return, you must leave that member on ‘ignore’ for an additional 15 days. Failure to do so will result in a permanent ban.

14. Membership is a privilege and not a right. This is a private site, and we will revoke the membership of anyone who causes problems, whether it is a reason clearly defined in the rules or not. People are inventive, they come up with interesting ways to cause trouble.

15. New members are placed in a special category upon registration. A registrant must make 20 posts before being granted full access to our site. Until such time as a member makes 20 posts, they will be restricted from from the following:
- Viewing the member list
- Viewing member profiles
- Posting polls
- Viewing “who’s online”
- Viewing forum statistics
- Searching for posts and topics
- Posting Attachments
- Viewing our more “heated” forums.

In addition, members are no longer able to lock their own threads or delete their accounts. If you need a thread locked, please contact any member of the site staff. If you want to delete your account, please contact a site administrator.

16. Those who serve on the staff of SofA are also members. They are adoptees, fostered adults, adoptive parents, bio parents and foster parents. To differentiate between when they are posting as staff and when they are posting their own personal opinions as members, they change the color of their font. Personal opinions and ideas are posted in black. Comments made in their role as moderators are made in red. We do not expect our staff to withold participation as members seeking support and community. If you are confused about whether or not a moderator is speaking in an “official” capacity, look at the color of their font. If you are still unsure, ask for clarification either in the post or in a PM.