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Please read this carefully. Ignorance of the Terms of Service is not an excuse for violations. Because of the sensitive nature of adoption and the strong emotions that may be involved, the Terms of Service is taken very seriously. These rules were created by the members for the members. You are asked to agree to honor them as a condition for membership. Any questions can be directed to admin@soulofadoption.com
The following offenses will result in your IP address being immediately banned, almost certainly on the first offense. Second chances in these circumstances will be rare:
1. This is a three part rule, and probably the most important on the list. Interpretation of this rule is at the staff’s discretion. We are NOT a “matching” site. Ergo –
(a) Do not under any circumstances attempt to in any way manipulate, encourage or otherwise influence an expectant mother to place her baby with you.
(b) Do not under any circumstances attempt to in any way manipulate, encourage or otherwise influence a prospective adoptive parent to adopt your baby.
(c) If you are a troll pretending to be a long lost adoptee, a birth or adoptive parent, a pregnant woman hoping to place an imaginary baby, or offering phony adoption grants, don’t bother registering. If you do, we will find you, block your IP address, and, in addition, turn over all information we have on you to the authorities and assist them in prosecuting you for fraud.
2. Insinuate that someone is in any way “less” than you - whether racially, socially, spiritually, gender-based, etc., or imply that any class of people is less deserving of the same rights and liberties you enjoy and you may be denied “rights and liberties” here. Staff decisions on this are final.
3. You will not attempt to hack the site, circumvent the security precautions, or hack the administrative database or area. Doing so will result in your IP being banned, your ISP being notified, and where appropriate the authorities being contacted.
4. Porn is prohibited. Links to porn are prohibited. Posting, or linking to, kiddie porn will result not only in an immediate ban, but notification of the authorities and cooperation in ensuring that you are prosecuted to the fullest extent possible.
5. Spamming our members is prohibited.
6. Do not use this site or the tools and features available through this site for criminal behavior. Violating this rule will not only lead to your banning from the site, but will also result in the administrator contacting law enforcement and cooperating fully in your prosecution.
Violating the following Terms of Service may result in your posting privileges being revoked for a period of time or in the denial of certain features of our site through the “Escalation Policy for Moderating Decisions” outlined here. We also expect you to review the “Posting Guidelines” found here and abide by them when determining how to respond to a post. However, repetitive and/or habitual disregard for these rules may result in your IP being banned.
7. Whatever baggage you may be carrying over from another forum, be sure to leave it at the door. We don’t care what “NastyPoster#1” ‘said to you elsewhere. Fight it out where the fight began, don’t clutter up our house. We recognize that conflicts arise, especially with such an emotionally-charged topic. Conflict and flame wars will likely be moved to the “I Need To Vent” forum, the “Clearing The Air” forum or the “The Great Debate” forum. The intention of these forums is to allow users to discuss heated issues and to work out their differences. These forums do not give anyone free rein to rip someone to shreds. Before resorting to flaming, try some restraint.
Personal attacks on this site are expressly forbidden. OUR definition of a personal attack is as follows:
A personal attack is committed when an individual substitutes abusive remarks for evidence while examining another’s claims or comments. Directly or indirectly implying that a member has a flaw or weakness in their personality, beliefs, lifestyle, convictions or principles is a personal attack. Yes, name calling and hurling insults designed to wound are also considered Personal Attacks. Using the flaw or weakness as a debate tactic, or to avoid discussion of the validity or relevance of the poster’s position, is ill advised. In other words, do not attempt to discredit the source (i.e., the individual) in an attempt to weaken the argument itself. After all, no matter how disagreeable you find an individual or the associated argument, he or she can still make valid claims.
In general, it is best to focus one’s attention on the content of the claim and not on the owner of the statement. The content determines the validity of the claim, not the characteristics of the speaker.
A complete description of the various forms of “Personal Attacks” can be found here.
8. Yes, you can cuss. No, you can’t cuss out another member. Repeated violations of this one will result in a ban of your IP.
9. If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the fire. Depending upon your perspective, the following forums contain “hot” to “very hot” topics: “I Need To Vent,” “The Great Debate,” “The Aftermath,” “Clearing The Air,” “Our Raw Truth” or “The Dark Side of Adoption”. Forums and topics relating to Adoption Reform or Ethics may also contain hot topics.
Adoption itself is a heated issue for many people. Avoid the areas where you’re likely to be pissed off. Use your Profile Tools to ignore specific users and even entire forums if you find you’re consistently becoming angry. Take the responsibility to tailor your own experience here. Do not expect the moderators to police everyone’s behavior for you. Be proactive about what you are exposed to. If you choose not to use the ignore feature, realize that your negative reaction is your responsibility.
All members are welcome to read all forums and post as they wish, but know what you’re getting into. Don’t take your rosy-perfect view of adoption inspired by your recent experience and try to change the minds of everybody over on “The Dark Side of Adoption.” Similarly, don’t bombard all the new adoptive parents with your horror story when they’re sharing their joy about their new baby. It’s rude and counterproductive for everybody. Recognize that different members of the triad, and individual members within the same part of the triad, have very different experiences, and YOUR’S won’t change THEIR’S.
In an effort to more clearly convey the difference between “support” and “discussion” forums, we have created a list of “Category Descriptions,” available here. Please review this before posting.
10. Yes, you can post links to pretty much any site you want. Exceptions: hard core porn sites (ask any of the staff if you’re not sure); WaReZ or other “hacking” sites; known “spam” sites; sites which promote racisim, bigotry or discrimination - unless you’re posting it to say “Look at these nutcases!” The site staff reserves the right to delete links to sites they deem unsuitable for this forum.
11. Do you own or work for an adoption agency? An adoption attorney? An adoption facilitator? ANY type of adoption professional? Wonderful! Welcome! However, your continued presence on our forum is contingent on the disclosure of this fact in your profile. Please be sure to answer the questions in your registration accurately and completely. Don’t just answer “Yes,” you are also required to describe your position. While you do not have to specify what agency or what attorney or what adoption industry-related company you work for, you MUST disclose that you hold such a position. Volunteers are asked to disclose their relationship to an agency, etc. only if they are specifically commenting on the agency, etc. for which they volunteer.
We have absolutely no issue with adoption professionals reading. posting, and otherwise participating here. However, we will not tolerate people who have a vested interest promoting one agency over another, one attorney over another, one facilitator over another while failing to disclose their professional ties.. This site is NOT financially supported by agencies, ergo, they don’t get a free pass to promote themselves here by misleading other members into thinking they are “just an adoptive parent” or “just a birth parent” or “just an adoptee” or whatever. Be honest with everyone about it or get out. Eventually, we will learn of your true identity. Since most of you DO surf this site from work, we can ban the IP of your entire agency from even viewing this site and may note the actions of your agency on our “Agency Review” forums. If your agency discriminates against GLBTs or Single Parents – please go away. You really won’t fit here.
12. To request assistance from the moderating team you must use the “Report To Moderator” button found within each post. Personal PMs to a moderator, or messages within a post will not receive official moderator attention. When we have “Report to Moderator” posts, the entire moderating team reviews the complaint. Thus, we are able to keep a record of all actions taken, and decrease the potential for the appearance of bias or personal favoritism. For those who are concerned, “Report to Moderator” reports do not generate an email to moderators thus revealing your email address. “Report to Moderator” reports generate a notification on the moderator forum only. Your continued privacy is assured.
13. The best advice we can offer our new members, as well as our seasoned ones, is to do your best to maintain a healthy sense of humor and to remember that irony does not translate very well in cyberspace. Before you become terminally insulted, do try reading the message with a different emotional slant or from a different perspective; you’ll likely find a whole different effect and it may calm you down!
And now all the legal jargon - as boring as it may be, we suggest you read it anyway:
You agree, through your use of this forum, that you will not post any material which is false, defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, sexually oriented, threatening, invasive of a person’s privacy, adult material, or otherwise in violation of any International or United States Federal law. You also agree not to post any copyrighted material unless you own the copyright or you have written consent from the owner of the copyrighted material. Spam, flooding, advertisements, chain letters, pyramid schemes, and solicitations are also forbidden on this forum.
Note that it is impossible for the staff or the owners of this forum to confirm the validity of posts. Please remember that we do not actively monitor the posted messages, and as such, are not responsible for the content contained within. We do not warrant the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information presented. The posted messages express the views of the author, and not necessarily the views of this forum, its staff, its subsidiaries, or this forum’s owner. Anyone who feels that a posted message is objectionable is encouraged to notify an administrator or moderator of this forum immediately. The staff and the owner of this forum reserve the right to remove objectionable content, within a reasonable time frame, if they determine that removal is necessary. This is a manual process, however, please realize that they may not be able to remove or edit particular messages immediately. This policy applies to member profile information as well.
You remain solely responsible for the content of your posted messages. Furthermore, you agree to indemnify and hold harmless the owners of this forum, any related websites to this forum, its staff, and its subsidiaries. The owners of this forum also reserve the right to reveal your identity (or any other related information collected on this service) in the event of a formal complaint or legal action arising from any situation caused by your use of this forum.
You have the ability, as you register, to choose your username. We advise that you keep the name appropriate. With this user account you are about to register, you agree to never give your password out to another person except an administrator, for your protection and for validity reasons. You also agree to NEVER use another person’s account for any reason. We also HIGHLY recommend you use a complex and unique password for your account, to prevent account theft.
After you register and login to this forum, you will be able to fill out a detailed profile. It is your responsibility to present clean and accurate information. Any information the forum owner or staff determines to be inaccurate or vulgar in nature will be removed, with or without prior notice. Appropriate sanctions may be applicable.
Please note that with each post, your IP address is recorded, in the event that you need to be banned from this forum or your ISP contacted. This will only happen in the event of a major violation of this agreement.
Also note that the software places a cookie, a text file containing bits of information (such as your username and password), in your browser’s cache. This is ONLY used to keep you logged in/out. The software does not collect or send any other form of information to your computer.
Ultimately, your continued usage of this site is contingent upon your behavior. No Terms of Service can cover every potentially harmful or disruptive behavior. As such, the site staff retains the right to alter these Terms of Service without warning. The site staff also retains the right to move forward with disciplinary action for offenses not specifically outlined in these Terms of Service as the need arises. While we do not wish to be heavy handed in our moderating style, it is our responsibility to ensure that the atmosphere of this site remains welcoming to the majority. In pursuit of that goal, you may be moderated for behaviors not specifically outlined in this TOS. By registering for this site and posting, you agree to be bound by the decisions of the moderating team.
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