Soul of Adoption

New babies are always a significant event in any family, but forgive me for a moment while I assert that this time is even more special. This time, it is MY sister having the baby. This time, it is MY nephew who is about to make his entrance into the world (any time now!). And, for the first time in my life, I will get to greet a new life who is related to me at the most basic, biological level who is not “of my body.” This is not my sister’s first baby. It is not, in fact, the first child born to my rather large herd of siblings. My very large family has given birth to what nearly equals the number of people who make up the population of a small country! We are rather prolific breeders. LOL

But this is the first one born since I was reunited with my family after 35 long years.

I talked on the phone with my sister just a few minutes ago. She is waiting for the goahead to drive to the hospital, be admitted, and probably induced in the morning if she does not go into labor before then. When I hung up with her, I burst into tears - tears I barely choked back as I told her I would be thinking of her constantly and that I love her. Never has the distance between Michigan and Virginia seemed so great, yet at the same time, I can feel her - right beside me - right next to me. I can see her oh-so-familiar face if I just look in the mirror. I can imagine her beautiful belly carrying my incredibly handsome nephew - I only have to remember what my belly looked like as recently as 12 years back.

Today is my youngest’s birthday. Today or tomorrow will be the birthday of what will now be my youngest, and almost certainly last, nephew. These cousins share more than close birthdays, they share a first name. And with the Universe willing, they’ll always understand that they share a biological link, a genealogy, a history, a family.

I’m crying as I write this. Tears of joy for my sister, who has wanted this baby for so long. Tears of sadness for my sister’s lost child, a life known only for a moment. Tears of excitement for my niece and brother-in-law, who wait eagerly for their brother and son. And so many tears of thankfulness that I am here to witness this incredible event.

Because of the era in which I was adopted, I grew up with no expectation of ever knowing my first family. It “simply wasn’t done” back then. No one could have predicted the advent of the internet and what that would mean to millions of adoptees hoping to find that connection. Science Fiction was a nice fantasy, the idea of a world wide web where every bit of information was at your fingertips - but even that fantasy had an element of reality, the knowledge that even there, information would be restricted. Our identities would be denied to us, even as we could find the gross national product of a country which has not existed for 1,000 years.

There is a very special woman in the world whose identity will remain a secret everywhere but in my heart. Without her loving friendship, I would not have just got off the phone with my sister to talk about the impending birth of her child. Her willingness to let her heart guide her is what made it possible for me to find my sister, my family, my history. Thank you, my friend - I love you, and I will NEVER forget the great gift you gave to me.

So tonight, I will sit by my phone and wait. I will do this tomorrow and the day after if needed. I will wait for my beautiful niece to call and tell me that she has a new cousin, that I have a new nephew, that my sister has her son.

It is going to be a rough wait - but so worth it. C’mon out Superman - we’re waiting for you. It’s safe. We love you. And we will never let you feel alone.

All my love,

Your aunt

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